Michelada de Camaron

I was craving for something salty, spicy, limey, and beer-y for dinner. So I decided on a Michelada - which is a Mexican shrimp cocktail topped off with beer. It was incredibly satisfying. This is especially good on a hot, summer day.

Need:

chopped shrimp (bay shrimp are fine for this use)

chopped tomatoes

peeled, chopped cucumber

finely chopped onion

finely chopped serrano pepper

finely chopped carrot

2-3 limes

salt

Tapatio hot sauce to taste

1 Mexican beer

1. Add the first 6 ingredients in a bowl. Squeeze the lime juice into it. Add a little salt and hot sauce.

2. Let it marinate for at least an hour

3. Serve in a tall glass with ice cubes. Top off with beer and mix around. Add more hot sauce, if you like. I like.

I love to drink/eat this with some tortilla chips. 

Cauliflower Soup

I never used to like cauliflower very much. Then one evening, we went out for a lovely dinner at Canlis and the amuse bouche was a cauliflower soup. It was ambrosia to my tongue and I immediately went home and emailed the chef for the recipe. I'm not sharing that recipe. I'm sharing a slightly heartier version that I made because I didn't have cream.

Need:

Cauliflower
broth (beef, chicken, or mushroom)
1/2 white onion
2 tbsp. butter
1/2 C milk
1 heaping tbsp. of cream cheese
salt
white pepper

1. Chop onion and sauté in butter until translucent.

2. Rough chop the cauliflower and add to the onions and butter. Add broth and bring to a simmer until the cauliflower is soft.

3. Pour the contents in the pot into a blender. REMOVE THE LITTLE BLENDER LID-KNOB THING AND COVER THE HOLE WITH A TOWEL WHEN YOU TURN IT ON. Otherwise, the pressure will build up and you will have HOT cauliflower debris all over you and your kitchen. I've done this before, it sucks a lot. Blend until smooth.

4. Add the puree back to the pot and add the milk and cream cheese. Whisk until smooth and then taste it. Add salt, if needed, and the white pepper.

Cobb Salad with Goat Cheese Dressing

 

 

If you don't know how to put a salad together, my friend, I feel bad for you. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone (I'm telling everyone).

 

Need:

shredded lettuce (I used red leaf)
1 hard boiled egg
1 cooked beet
some cooked, chopped bacon
cheddar cheese cut into small cubes
turkey breast, cut into cubes
a bunch of grape tomatoes
thinly sliced white onion
goat cheese
white vinegar
olive oil
honey
s+p

1. Put the shredded lettuce in a bowl.

2. Pile on the egg, beet, bacon, cheese, turkey breast, tomatoes, and onions.

3. In a blender, add goat cheese, vinegar, olive oil, honey, s+p. Blend until smooth. Dress the salad.

If I'd had an avocado, I would have added that too. But my daughter loves avocados, so they don't last long in this house.

Beet Pancakes

This needs to go into the "failed-attempts-at-trolling-my-own-children" file. I thought that I'd be super smart tonight and put some beet puree in pancake batter to trick them into eating beets. I figured that if I cover it with some frosting and sprinkles, they would never be the wiser. Boy, was I mistaken. To my established, adult palate, I almost didn't notice the beets. To my son, who walked up and made a face and groaned, they tasted "gross." He hadn't even tried them yet. After I told him that they were "Iron Man Pancakes" (Iron Mancakes), he tasted them. Then he told me that if you eat them, "You might die. This is disgust-o." That one is an evil genius. I was stifling my own laughter the entire time he critiqued the meal. The girl ate them just fine, so long as there was enough frosting. How do other mothers trick their kids? Mine won't fall for this nonsense. I'll keep you guys posted on my other failures with these two.

The Feisty Lucy

An ode to the Juicy Lucy - this is the Feisty Lucy, a spicy version. I happen to know a very feisty little red-head named Lucy, for whom I have named this burger.

Need:

ground beef
ground pork
1 tbsp chopped jalapeno
1 clove chopped garlic
2 tbsps cream cheese
1 tbsp of grated onion
s+p
garlic powder

burger fixin's -

1. In a bowl, combine the pork and the beef. Add grated onion and mix well.

2. Saute the garlic and jalapeno until translucent. Mix with cream cheese.

3. Form patties, then put a scoop of the jalapeno-garlic-cheese mixture. Fold the meat around it and flatten it. S+p and garlic powder. Then grill

I ALWAYS add cheese on top as well. This one is pictured with some Irish cheddar, bacon, grilled onions, tomato, lettuce, avocado, and mayo. Grill the bun too. If you really want to add some fat, slather the grilled buns with a bit of butter before the mayo. Delicious, but asking for a heart attack. Thank you, Wisconsin, for THAT idea.

Eggs Blackstone

Everybody always talks about eggs benedict. I love eggs benedict. But every once in awhile, you've got to mix it up with some fried deliciousness. Eggs Blackstone uses bacon and a fried egg, rather than Canadian bacon and a poached egg.

Need:
bacon
egg
toasted bread
hollandaise sauce (see below)
2 egg yolks
butter
lemon juice
salt
Tabasco sauce

1. Fry bacon. Fry your eggs, toast your bread. Assemble

2. Make hollandaise sauce (I don't blame you if you add water to a package, but it's super easy to make from scratch) - using a double boiler (or a Pyrex measuring cup in a sauce pan full of boiling water) add butter. Once it is melted, add egg yolks, lemon juice, salt and a dash of Tabasco. The Tabasco is not traditional, but it's how I make mine and I LOVE it. Whisk furiously until the sauce lightens in color and thickens. If it gets too thick too fast, add a tsp of the boiling water to it and keep whisking. If it curdles, you can save it this way. You can also strain it through a fine mesh sieve. Don't give up. It's easy, but it takes a ton of practice to know how to get it just right. OR you can open a package and add water.

Chile Rellenos - Light

So after the last two days of food hugs and comfort, this night I needed something a little lighter. This version of chile rellenos is light and does not need to be deep-fried. Thank GOD. I don't think my arteries could take much more of this torture.

Need:

pasilla or poblano chiles
1 can of tuna
finely minced onion
finely minced Serrano pepper
chopped tomatoes
mayonnaise (REAL mayonnaise. If you even talk to me about Miracle Whip, you're out)
squeeze of lime
black pepper

1. Turn on your grill or your broiler and char the peppers. Then put them in a Ziploc bag and seal it. After about 10 minutes, PUT ON SOME RUBBER GLOVES, open the bag, and peel the charred skin off of the peppers under cool, running water. Carefully, spilt pepper open and remove seeds and ribs. If you don't wear gloves during this procedure, it WILL burn.

2. While the peppers are charring and steaming, go ahead and make the tuna salad. Mix together all of the rest of the ingredients. Once the peppers are peeled and seeded, stuff the peppers with the tuna.

This is amazing. I eat it with rice. I know it sounds weird, but give it a try.

Southern Fried Comfort II - Fried Pork Chops

This day was particularly upsetting, so I decided that artery-clogging was in order. You're welcome.

Need:

Pork chops (I used bone-in, either works)
crackers
oregano
sage
s+p
1 egg
1 tbsp. of milk
oil for frying (once again, Crisco or lard is best)

For white gravy:

some kind of meat fat (bacon grease, sausage grease, duck fat, schmaltz)
flour
milk
oregano
s+p

1. Dry the pork chops. Whisk the egg and milk together.

2. Beat the living snot out of the crackers with a hammer. Very therapeutic. I happen to have a meat tenderizer that looks like brass knuckles, courtesy of my brother. You'd better believe I used that bad boy to DESTROY those crackers. Keep in mind the salt content of the crackers you use when you're salting - ex: don't add salt to saltines unless you want to die. I had fancy crackers on hand, they needed a little salt.

3. Dredge pork chops in egg/milk mixture, then coat with pulverized crackers. Its okay if the crackers are not uniformly fine, by the way. Fry the pork chops on medium in a cast iron pan until they're done.

4. In a saucepan, add the meat-fat and let it heat up on medium. Then whisk in some flour and let it cook for about 1 minute. We're just cooking the raw-ness out of the flour, not browning. Whisk in some milk and the oregano, s+p. As it comes to a simmer, turn off the heat and keep whisking to prevent lumps from forming. It will thicken significantly.

Served with a side of mashed potatoes and garlic-sautéed green beans.

Its Been a Loooooooong Week - Southern Fried Comfort -

 

I apologize. I've promised you more of me and this week I dropped the ball. It's been a rough week. So this go 'round, I offer you comfort food. Because we could all use a little hug from food now and then.

This first one will be my chicken Milanesa. Almost every culture has their breaded, fried meat dish. Mine is a Mexican style version. Usually made with some cut of steak, we've changed it to chicken breast over the years and have always had rave reviews from people.

Need:

Thinly sliced chicken breast
1 can of evaporated milk
plain, fine breadcrumbs
1 tsp chicken bouillon
oil for frying (lard or Crisco is best)

1. Marinate chicken breast in evaporated milk. This makes the chicken super moist and tender. Trust.

2. Mix the chicken bouillon into the breadcrumbs and then dredge the chicken in it. Seriously. People have tried to replicate this recipe and I never tell them about the chicken bouillon. The secret is out.

Notice the picture above shows the Milanesa with a pico de gallo salsa on it. I'll include it here for easy reference:

Need:

Tomatoes, chopped
onions, finely chopped
cilantro, finely chopped
Serrano or jalapeno pepper, finely chopped
garlic, finely chopped
lime juice
salt

Throw it all together, except the salt. Salt when you are about ready to serve, otherwise it draws the moisture out of the tomatoes.

Tuna Salad Nicoise

 

I LOVE Nicoise salads. I was introduced to this a few years ago at a work bachelorette party held at a restaurant. Fun fact: if you're ever at a bachelorette party and a penis cake is involved, know that you'll be forced to perform, ifyouknowwhatimean. Be ready, bride-to-be.

 

Anyway, this French salad has so much variety and flavor. If you're wondering why it is in a gigantic, food-service grade Tupperware, this is my lunch for tomorrow. Making lunch like a BOSS.

 

Need:

olives (Nicoise is best, and obviously the namesake, but any work)

thinly sliced onion

2 hard boiled eggs

1 can of drained tuna

some cherry tomatoes, sliced in half

some boiled potato, cut into bite-sized pieces

blanched green beans, cut into bite sized pieces

lettuce (not pictured, packed separately to prevent wilting)

red wine vinegar

olive oil

s+p

Dijon mustard

minced fresh herbs, if you have them

 

1. Place lettuce on a plate. This salad looks prettiest when it is served like above. You don't want to dive into a pile of crap all over the place. Place the eggs, olives, tuna, onions, potatoes, green beans, and tomatoes on top of the lettuce in groupings.

 

2. In a jar, pour in olive oil, red wine vinegar, Dijon mustard, s+p, and fresh herbs. Olive oil and vinegar should be in a 2:1 ratio. Add no more what a tsp. of Dijon mustard. Close the jar and shake it like a Polaroid picture. Drizzle over the salad.

 

People are going to be SO jelly of my lunch tomorrow. I love it when that happens.

 

 



 

Spaghetti and Meatballs

 

 I have a confession to make to you guys about this. This picture is my leftovers from the night before. In fact, one of these meatballs is half-eaten; can you guess which one? Its not nearly as pretty as it was last night. By the time I remembered to take a picture, the meal was half gone. Such a hassle, you people are! Just kidding. Still love you.

Need:
2 cans of San Marzano pureed tomatoes
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1/4 onion, grated
1 tbsp of olive oil
some wine
2 tsp minced basil
2 tsp minced parsley
1/4 tsp of red pepper flakes

For the Meatballs:
1 pckg of ground beef
1 pckg of ground pork
1 egg
1/2 C of plain breadcrumbs
1 tbsp of dried oregano
1 tsp of garlic powder
1/2 C of grated Romano cheese
some fresh minced herbs, if you have them

1. In a large sauce pan, add olive oil, garlic and red pepper flakes and sauté on med-low for about 1 minute.

2. Add canned tomato and bring to a simmer. Add, wine, basil and parsley.

3. Put all of the meatball ingredients in a large bowl and mix thoroughly (getcha hands in there!). If it seems a little dry, add milk a tsp at a time. If it seems too wet, add a little more breadcrumb. Form balls and place in simmering sauce. Cover and cook for 45 minutes on low, moving meatballs around halfway through.

4. To serve, I usually remove the meatballs and put them on a nice plate, then cover in a bit of sauce. Then I sprinkle with chopped herbs and little parmesan cheese. I add boiled pasta directly to the sauce and stir until fully covered. Add a 1 tbsp of butter here too (any excuse to add butter). Then add fresh chopped herbs and serve on plates. Meatballs on top. This earned "Yums!" from the WHOLE, very critical, family.

Spanish-Inspired Beef Empanadas

Real talk: I am not so great with pastry doughs. As a matter of fact, I suck. However, part of my time off from the blog was spent working on my pastry skills. You're welcome.

For empanadas, I usually cheat and just use frozen puff pastry. I didn't have any, so this time, I found a very easy recipe from Martha Stewart's website (why does her website suck, btw?). I basically wanted to get an idea of the ratios for flour, butter, salt, and baking powder. It's a biscuit dough, really. Flaky and layered because of the butter. So feel free to improvise on your dough. I'll list my measurements here that I used in case you're too lazy to research this topic.

For the dough:
1 3/4 C flour
1 heaping tsp of baking powder
1 heaping tsp of salt
3/4 of a stick of COLD butter, chopped
ice cold water

Filling:
ground beef
1 chopped hard boiled egg
chopped olives
finely minced garlic
finely chopped parsley
1/2 cup of chopped onion
paprika
cumin
s+p
garlic powder
olive oil
finely grated pecorino romano cheese

1. In a food processor, add flour, baking powder and salt. Pulse. Then add cold butter and pulse until you get a mealy texture. While pulsing, stream cold water in from the top until your dough comes together.
Let it chill in the fridge, covered, while you get the rest of the filling ready. Preheat oven to 400°

2. Saute the garlic and parsley lightly in olive oil. Set aside. Saute the onion until translucent, set in same bowl as garlic/parsley. Brown the ground beef, adding paprika, cumin, s+p, and garlic powder. Be careful on the salt, your dough will have plenty, as well as the olives added. Mix together cooked meat, garlic/parsley, onion, olives, egg, and the cheese.

3. Roll out the dough until it is about 1/4-1/8 inch thick on a floured surface. Cut out 4 inch rounds. For this recipe, I was able to make 8 little empanadas. I had plenty of filling leftover. Add filling to the round and fold over. Then you can seal and press with fork tines to make it pretty. Set on a pan. Fill the rest.

4. Bake at 400° for 30-40 minutes, rotating the pan about halfway through. They were a little pale at the 25 minute mark, so I brushed them with a little milk so they'd get a nice tan.


FYI, this was totally unplanned and therefore I had none of the prep work done for this when the whim hit me. Therefore, my feet were sore and my back was tired by the time I was done. The saving grace was that it was delicious and the kids enjoyed it (I told them they were pizza pockets).

Bacon and Egg Pasta **revisited**

It's been a long time. A real long time. I feel like the father who went out for smokes and promised to "be right back." Now I've finally shown up and you're equally relieved and angry with me. I offer little explanation as to why I've been gone. We don't talk about it. All that matters is that I'm back now. I'm here. I'll hold you.

Wow. Anyway, rest assured that though I've been absent here, I've been eating incredibly well. I've been re-invigorated after recent travel to the land of the most delicious food in the United States (Houston and New Orleans).

So I have this for you. I've done this recipe before, but when I did, I was a little unsatisfied with it. It seemed kind of bland. I have drastically improved upon it, with a little tweaking.

Need:

1 egg
angel hair pasta
chopped bacon
3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
a handful of finely chopped parsley
1 tbsp of butter
Parmesan cheese
s+p

1. Boil the pasta (salt the water, yada yada)
2. In a frying pan, cook bacon until crispy. Then remove and set aside
3. Leaving the bacon fat in the pan, saute the garlic and parsley for about a minute. Don't let it burn. Then remove it from the pan and add it to the bacon.
4. Once the pasta is finished, drain it (set aside a little pasta water in case it's too dry before doing so). Add the bacon/garlic/parsley to the pasta and stir well. Then add a heaping tbsp of Parmesan cheese and that butter. Stir until butter has melted.
5. Add more Parmesan cheese and some black pepper.
6. Fry that egg. I like sunny side up for this application because the slightly runny yolk mixes in with the pasta and adds richness to it. Plate the pasta and top with the egg. Add more Parmesan cheese. And red pepper flakes for taste.

By the way:

Solid advice, right there.