'Screw Pickles' Tartar Sauce

As you probably could have guessed because I'm such a food snob, I make my own tartar sauce. But since I rarely have pickles in the fridge, I use pickled jalapeños. Like the kind you have with nachos. This is a better tartar sauce than a lot of what's out there. I'm so modest.

Need:
diced white onion
diced jalapeños
mayonnaise
jalapeño juice
Tabasco sauce

 

Dice your onion and jalapeño.

Add the mayo, jalapeno juice, and Tabasco sauce. Notice the difference in color between these two? That's the Tabasco working its' magic. Oh yeah. Abra Cadabra, baby.

 

Eat with fish and chips. Holla!

Beef Salad

Real talk for a moment: back when we was poor, this was a meal that we ate all of the time because it was cheap and healthy. I have memories of us all sitting in the living room watching re-runs of All in the Family ("Archieeeee!") and eating on a table cloth on the floor, picnic style. We couldn't afford a table.

Need:
very thinly sliced beef
soy sauce
sesame oil
2 cloves of chopped garlic
s+p
oyster sauce
lettuce
herbs
tomatoes
a couple of hard boiled eggs, chopped
thinly sliced onions
vinegar
oil
s+p
half a lime
some fish sauce

 

In a bowl, add the beef, soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, oyster sauce, s+p a mix. Let it marinate for at least 20 minutes.

 

Get your salad veggies ready: lettuce, herbs (Thai basil here), sliced onions, tomatoes. Sometimes, we add cucumber, bell peppers, sliced mushrooms, mint, lovage, etc. Whatever you fancy.

 

Hard boil a couple of eggs.

 

Add sauteed beef to the salad, the chopped eggs, then the vinegar, oil, s+p. Lastly, squeeze the lime into it and sprinkle with fish sauce. Eat with a bowl of rice. OMFG. I ate all of this in about 10 minutes. And the whole time, I was thinking of this:

 

 

It was the CUT at the time. I don't know. Don't ask me why I do anything.

Thai Red Curry

I've been craving for curry and decided that I should try making Thai food, for once. Rather than ordering in. Honestly, the curry starter was kind of meh. I'm going to try some others in the near future. Use this methodology, though.

Need:
veggies (I used mushrooms, onions, and bell pepper), chopped
boneless, skinless chicken thigh, chopped
chopped garlic
Thai basil
vegetable oil
curry starter
coconut milk
1 C of water
fish sauce
sugar

 

Don't use this brand. Try something else.

 

This coconut milk is good.

 

Add some oil and chopped garlic to a pan. Then saute the chicken until cooked most of the way through. Then remove chicken from pan.

 

Add curry starter to warm up and get the spices fragrant.

 

Add a little coconut milk and the water to thin out. Get rid of the lumps.

 

Add the veggies and bring to a boil.

 

Add in the rest of the coconut milk.

 

Add in chicken. Cook at a rapid boil for about 5 minutes, then simmer for 10. Add in fish sauce and sugar to taste. I had to add about 3 tbsp of sugar and 2 tbsp of fish sauce to get it where I wanted it.

 

Add in fresh Thai basil at the end.

 

Eat with rice. It was spicy enough as is (I didn't even give this to the kids, they had home-made teriyaki instead), but if I'd wanted more, I would have chopped a Serrano chili pepper and added it to this.

Spring Rolls

Okay, so this is my go-to recipe for potlucks. Otherwise I end up spending way too much time and money thinking up fantastic ways that I can awe my co-workers. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Need:
rice paper
rice noodles
shrimp
lettuce
Thai basil
plenty of boiling hot water

sauce:
hoisin sauce
Sriracha rooster hot sauce
some apple juice

 

Boil the noodles according to the directions on the packet. The best noodles have the directions in Vietnamese. Good luck with that one.

 

Bring a pot of water to a slow simmer and add shrimp. Do NOT overcook the shrimp. Then remove them, rinse in cool water and slice in half lengthwise.

 

Wash the veggies and take the basil off the stems.

 

You can barely see it, but I took the rice paper and dipped it into a large pot of simmering water. Do not let it hang out in there. Just dip and lay out on your work surface. I always double them up (like a Venn diagram) so that they're sturdier.

 

This is what the rice paper package looks like.

 

Pile on the rice noodles, the lettuce and basil, and the shrimp.

 

Roll tightly forward.

 

About halfway rolled, stop and fold in the sides. Then roll it the rest of the way.

 

They look like this when they're done. Always a hit at the potlucks.

Fish Sauce Dip

I've been craving for Viet food lately, so I decided to share the fish sauce dip recipe with you peeps. This isn't the lame one you get at restaurants, though. This is the fire-in-the-hole hot and spicy home-made kind. Note on the pictures: my kids were playing with the camera so the battery was dead. These pics are from my cell phone.

Need:
chopped garlic
chopped ginger
chopped Thai bird chilies
sugar
water
fish sauce

 

Finely chop the garlic and ginger and add to a container for storage. Yes, that is a re-purposed jar. Don't judge.

 

Finely chop the chilies. I recommend using a food processor for this recipe or putting on your gloves. And yes, add the seeds. Don't be a pansy.

 

Add water and sugar to a pot in a 1:1 ratio. Let it come to a boil and thicken. This is a simple syrup. Add to the container of chilies, garlic, and ginger while hot; the heat helps to draw out the essential oils from them. This is a very good thing.

 

Add fish sauce, then taste it. It should be salty, sweet, spicy, and garlicky. Perfect for dipping. When I am about to eat, I usually add a squeeze of lime to this because I like a little sour too. This will keep for a little while in the cupboard.

Steak Frites

Y'all already know how to grill a steak. And making fries is pretty no-brainer. Though, I do like to add s+p, a little parmesan and truffle oil to my fries when I make this. And I dip in mayo. Yes, I'm one of those people.

This is really just an excuse to post of a picture of my lunch:

 

DAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM!

Noodle Fried Shrimp

I saw this on a menu at a restaurant and decided that it'd be super easy to make. I decided this around 8AM. It was our pre-breakfast snack.

Need:
a package of ramen noodles
hot water
shrimp, peeled

 

Put the brick of ramen noodles in a bowl and add some hot water. Immerse the noodles so that they are pliable. This will take about 5-10 minutes.

 

Take shrimp and make 2 small slits along the shrimp so that when it cooks, it doesn't curl as much.

 

Remove the ramen noodles from the water and squeeze out. Then dry a little with a paper towel.

 

Wrap noodles around shrimp. Start heating your oil.

 

Drop those babies in the hot oil and fry until golden.

Serve shrimp with some kind of sauce for dipping. These were great appetizers. Breakfast appetizers. Yes, I know I'm ridiculous.

Chicken and Andouille Sausage Gumbo

I love gumbo. I usually like to make it with lots of seafood, but that can get really expensive. So this was my cheap-o version. Also, I sin terribly by adding some fish sauce into this. Please don't tell any of my peeps in Louisiana. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't go over well.

Need:
an onion, chopped
3-4 celery sticks, chopped
a bell pepper, chopped (green preferred, but Joe went to the store and he can't read my mind)
Chicken or seafood broth
butter
flour
shredded cooked chicken
sliced andouille sausage
rice
oregano
bay leaf
fish sauce
a bottle of beer
Add if you've got it: sliced okra and filé powder (powdered sassafras leaves)

 

In a heavy-bottomed pot, melt butter and add flour. Do this on LOW. It takes a good 30-40 minutes to develop a nice, dark roux. Do it slowly and have patience, otherwise you'll screw it up. Stir constantly.

 

Chop up your bell peppers, onions, and celery.

 

Slice the andouille sausage.

 

After about 20 minutes, it starts to darken.

 

This is what it should look like when you're ready to add to it. I'm trying to show you that it should be about the color of a penny.

 

Add your chopped vegetables and saute for about 3 minutes.

 

Add the broth, beer, palm-ful of oregano, a bay leaf, and some fish sauce.

 

After about 20 minutes of the soup simmering, add your shredded chicken and the sausage. Let simmer on low for at least 20 more minutes. You're welcome to add some cayenne to this recipe to kick up the spice level. I didn't because this was the meal we ate before trick-or-treating. I haven't built up the kids' resistance to heat yet.

 

Add soup to a bowl of rice, some Tabasco sauce for heat and yum. A very satisfying meal.